Mattie Miracle Walk 2023 was a $131,249 success!

Mattie Miracle Cancer Foundation Promotional Video

Thank you for keeping Mattie's memory alive!

Dear Mattie Blog Readers,

It means a great deal to us that you take the time to write to us and to share your thoughts, feelings, and reflections on Mattie's battle and death. Your messages are very meaningful to us and help support us through very challenging times. To you we are forever grateful. As my readers know, I promised to write the blog for a year after Mattie's death, which would mean that I could technically stop writing on September 9, 2010. However, at the moment, I feel like our journey with grief still needs to be processed and fortunately I have a willing support network still committed to reading. Therefore, the blog continues on. If I should find the need to stop writing, I assure you I will give you advanced notice. In the mean time, thank you for reading, thank you for having the courage to share this journey with us, and most importantly thank you for keeping Mattie's memory alive.


As Mattie would say, Ooga Booga (meaning, I LOVE YOU)! Vicki and Peter



The Mattie Miracle Cancer Foundation celebrates its 7th anniversary!

The Mattie Miracle Cancer Foundation was created in the honor of Mattie.

We are a 501(c)(3) Public Charity. We are dedicated to increasing childhood cancer awareness, education, advocacy, research and psychosocial support services to children, their families and medical personnel. Children and their families will be supported throughout the cancer treatment journey, to ensure access to quality psychosocial and mental health care, and to enable children to cope with cancer so they can lead happy and productive lives. Please visit the website at: www.mattiemiracle.com and take some time to explore the site.

We have only gotten this far because of people like yourself, who have supported us through thick and thin. So thank you for your continued support and caring, and remember:

.... Let's Make the Miracle Happen and Stomp Out Childhood Cancer!

A Remembrance Video of Mattie

March 17, 2014

Monday, March 17, 2014

Monday, March 17, 2014


Tonight's picture was taken on St. Patrick's Day of 2009. As you can see Mattie was decked out for the occasion. His friends gave him a light up necklace, sunglasses, and a headband. Mattie decided to wear all of these items to the clinic that day. Every time I see this photo, it brings a smile to my face. As I hope it does for you today. I rarely dream of Mattie, but last night not only did I dream of Mattie, I heard him talking to me. He was talking about baking something. A cake or cupcakes and was chatting up a storm about frosting and sprinkles. Seems quite fitting!



Quote of the day: Perhaps this is what the stories meant when they called somebody heartsick. Your heart and your stomach and your whole insides felt empty and hollow and aching. Gabriel Garcí­a Márquez


Washington, DC received seven inches of snow overnight. In true DC fashion that shut the city down for the day! Everything was closed, from schools to the government. Peter worked from home, but by mid-day, we decided to go out to have a late lunch and run some chores. The roads looked clean to us and we figured others would also be out and about. I was motivated to go out because my birds were looking for bird seed and we ran out! We were desperate this morning, and Peter cut up four bagels for them. Which were appreciated and devoured! 

Any case to our shock, very few people were out. I have no idea why since the roads were super clear. It seemed like the perfect day to catch up on chores and things to do. The idea of being cooped up at home doesn't sound appealing to me but then maybe being home and not rushing around are gifts in our overly programmed area of the country. It is like a forced break! 


Last night Peter and I had a very memorable evening with our friend Maria and her boyfriend Darryl. They invited us to the DC Improv
to see a comedic hypnotist  by the name of Flip Orley. Maria has seen Flip before and she had a feeling we would enjoy him. She was absolutely right. Before telling you about the show, I wanted to share a tidbit about our connection with Maria. 

Peter and I met Maria years ago when we moved to DC. Maria works in our complex's management office. Maria has known me as a student, a professional, as a pregnant woman, a mom, she knew Mattie as a baby, she knew Mattie when he battled cancer, and now is a major Mattie Miracle supporter. But the irony is I knew Maria indirectly even before we moved to DC. When I was in college, I was a biology/psychology major. In my senior year in college, I took an immunology course. This had to be my favorite course in college, for two reasons. I loved my professor, Twitty Styles. Some students found Dr. Styles intimidating. After all, he addressed his students as Mr. or Ms. so and so. He would call on you at random and also give pop quizzes. However, my friends told me this before going into the class, so I understood the ground rules. Somehow I did not find Dr. Styles intimidating, quite the opposite. I found him engaging, stimulating, and inspiring. He pushed me to ask questions and to think, and he felt I had potential. The second reason that the course was memorable was because of the textbook Dr. Styles selected. Guess what..... the textbook happened to be written by Maria's father!!! I still remember this Immunology textbook with its purplish blue front cover that had white blood cells floating across it. It wasn't your typical dry textbook. This textbook was engaging, made challenging concepts more tangible, and also made you as the student want to investigate topics further. 

When Maria suggested we go to last night's show, it immediately made Peter and I think back to our first week of college. During our freshman orientation week, our college planned a special event where all 500 of us went to a theater to see a hypnotist. Back then hypnotists were most likely considered magicians or mind manipulators. I am not sure the profession has made much progress in terms of the public's perception even today. However, I recall when my parents left me in New York (where my college was located) and they went back to California, I was not only home sick, I was a bit scared. Yet this hypnotist show we attended was so funny, it made me forget my fears that evening. I figured if the college could plan such a fun evening, that perhaps things could turn out okay. Isn't it interesting how one event can influence other events?

Though Peter went to the DC Improv last night, he wasn't feeling well. He was struggling with a head cold. Despite that, Peter was dead set on wanting to be a participant in the show. Which means he wanted to be hypnotized. For those of you who do not know me well, there is one thing that I demand at all times and that is control. I have the absolute need to be in control of my mental faculties at all times. Which is why I refuse to take anything that may alter my mental state, even for medicinal purposes and certainly anything that would alter my consciousness. So clearly hypnosis is NOT for me. I am too anxious to relax in the presence of another, much less in a room of 100s of people. 

However, with that said, I was also worried what affect this would have on Peter. Before Flip invites volunteers (about 22) up to the stage to sit, he explains hypnosis in great detail and also explains what he will and wont do. I thought he did an excellent job. He said that if you don't want to be hypnotized and if you are going up there to test him, it won't work. He won't be able to hypnotize you. You have to be open and receptive to this. So in essence not every one is a candidate and we saw this right before our eyes last night. People were eliminated periodically throughout the night. The show is about three hours long and watching the process unfold was fascinating. Watching it unfold with Peter on stage was even more intriguing. Since I know my husband, I know what to look for, and I also paid close attention to what I was hearing because as a mental health professional, if I sensed anything dangerous, you bet, I would have pulled Peter off in about a half a second. 

Prior to the show beginning, Maria and I went up to Flip to introduce ourselves to him. Maria has gone to many of his shows before and he was thrilled to meet her. Yet while interacting with him, I immediately picked up his social anxiety and then I read the article below. Not unusual for comedians to have such one on one anxieties! But clearly he had his choice of becoming a therapist or an entertainer and he chose an entertainer, and he admits, listening to people ALL day is too taxing. Smart man!

Can I explain why hypnosis works? Absolutely not! I am not a person hard wired to relax, to deep breath, and so forth. Those types of exercises don't work for me. For me, jumping around, walking, and vigorous exercise help me. So what I saw last night was perplexing! Flip Orley had all the volunteers start by closing their eyes and doing breathing exercises. He told them that when they opened their eyes, he would be asking them to state their name. However, when asked, they would literally forget their names, and be unable to state it. Seemed ridiculous to me, especially just after some brief deep breathing. But when he came to Peter on stage and asked him to state his name..... Peter looked dumb founded!!!! He tried to speak, but nothing was coming out of his mouth. The more he tried to open his mouth, the more frustrated and shocked Peter looked. As if trying to find his tongue. Dazed and confused is how he looked. Almost trance like! At which point, Flip stated, "well that one is well one his way" (to being hypnotized, was what he meant). 

The beauty of Flip's show is he doesn't have his volunteers barking like dogs or making fools of themselves. He tries to get people to relax and really captures the natural humor that lives inside all of us. That is the sheer good nature of his show, which is what makes it clean and unique! It is worth seeing. I noticed that the majority of people who were able to be hypnotized were women, and wow two of them last night stole the show. There was also another woman in the audience who did not volunteer originally but just by watching the others being hypnotized, she too became hypnotized. Fortunately people around her in the audience gave Flip a heads up and she was led onto the stage to participate. Apparently this isn't unusual, where people in the audience who are receptive to hypnosis land up becoming part of his show.

Peter made it on stage for about half of the show. Or almost half. Then he was brought back to consciousness and asked to return to the audience. He was asked to return because Flip could see that Peter wasn't in a deep enough state to participate. I think Peter tried, but I think the problem with hypnosis in this particular case is it involves entertainment and very unreal scenarios. Scenarios that don't always make sense. For a person like Peter who thrives on logic and reasoning, even in a deep state of relaxation, I am sure things were just not jiving in his head. I will give you an example. I noticed immediately a change in Peter's demeanor and consciousness when Flip moved into a skit called "ladies and gentleman." Basically in this skit Flip told his subjects that when they came to consciousness every time they heard him say "ladies and gentlemen" they would see him naked. Naturally Flip wasn't naked in reality. Watching the subjects reactions was fascinating. Several women were horrified. One was absolutely disgusted and probably would have hit him. But he is very clever and instructs these folks before bringing them to consciousness that however they feel, they can not act in out, be aggressive, harm any one, touch anyone, etc. Any case, I was watching Peter's reaction. Peter's reaction was that of being perplexed and confused. As if he did not know what to believe. The conflict was he heard what Flip told him while deep breathing about the key terms "ladies and gentlemen" and nakedness and yet Peter's logic and reasoning knew that Flip explicitly stated in the beginning of the show that at no time would clothes be coming off. So it was at that time conflict arose in Peter's head and with the conflict this drove him further and further out of his relaxed state. That is my theory and that is where the hypnosis failed for him. 

Once Peter was brought out of hypnosis and asked to sit back in the audience, he came back to the table literally like a zombie. I watched him as the show progressed. I wasn't happy with what I was watching because I could assess he wasn't processing the show. As the night moved on, slowly I could see he was coming out of it, and understanding what was happening around him and beginning to laugh and absorb content. But Peter describes this as coming out of a very deep and relaxing sleep. The best sleep he ever had. Sounds fantastic to me, a chronic headache sufferer who doesn't sleep well at all. But here is the irony in all of this. Prior to hypnosis, Peter was sick, after hypnosis, Peter felt better. He still has a head cold, but it is markedly improved. I can't explain any of this. Part of me would say it is all unbelievable, but I saw it with my very own eyes and heard it from my very own ears from Peter. 

Info about Flip: http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/blogs/artsdesk/comedy/2011/07/14/hypnotist-flip-orley-returns-to-dc-improv/

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