Mattie's Blog and his Fight Against Osteosarcoma

Thank you for keeping Mattie's memory alive!

Dear Mattie Blog Readers,

It means a great deal to me that you take the time to write and to share your thoughts, feelings, and reflections on Mattie's battle and death. Your messages are very meaningful and help support me through very challenging times. I am forever grateful. As my readers know, I promised to write the blog for a year after Mattie's death, which would mean that I could technically have stopped writing on September 9, 2010. However, like my journey with grief there is so much that still needs to be processed and fortunately I have a willing support network still committed to reading. Therefore, the blog continues on. If I should find the need to stop writing, I assure you I will give you advanced notice. In the mean time, thank you for reading, thank you for having the courage to share this journey with me, and most importantly thank you for keeping Mattie's memory alive.

As Mattie would say, Ooga Booga (meaning, I LOVE YOU)! Vicki

June 17, 2023

Saturday, June 17, 2023

Saturday, June 17, 2023

Tonight's picture was taken in June of 2002. Mattie was two months old. We were sitting outside on our deck in Washington, DC and I snapped a photo of my two boys. I love the facial expressions on both Peter and Mattie. Peter looked happy and in love with the bundle he was holding and Mattie looked focused and in deep concentration.

Quote of the day: The human capacity for burden is like bamboo - far more flexible than you'd ever believe at first glance. ~ Jodi Picoult

My friend Mary Ann forwarded me this photo last night. It is something I took in June of 2016. My life seemed quite different back then. I was living in Washington, DC and I snapped a photo of hydrangeas sitting in front of my picture window. I referred to this space in my townhouse as my room with a view. I will never forget the beauty of that big window and all the sights and sounds from the city we used to observe from our advantage point.

I am so glad that Mary Ann sent me this photo because it reminded me of times I spent with my friends, the beauty of our city garden that we created each spring, and what it also helped me see is that I worked hard to find my way out of great devastation from losing Mattie. It took great strength, courage, and determination to want to survive and to get to where I was in 2016.... which was a more stable place than when Mattie died in 2009.

In a way, the photo instills hope. Because I would say I am once again facing a difficult crossroads in my life. Caring for two parents with dementia takes on a life of its own, it consumes me, my energy, my focus, and there are consequences both short and long term on my life and my relationships. I am well aware of things falling apart all around me, and this photo helps to remind me that I do have what it takes to find my way through this too.

Peter did more planting today! I love this sunflower clay pot, and the sunny flowers inside of it.

This pot had pansies in it! Pansies are wonderful in the fall and early spring, but they don't like warmer weather! So in their place, Peter planted this.