Saturday, April 5, 2025

Saturday, April 5, 2025

Tonight's picture was taken in April of 2006, during Mattie's fourth birthday party. That year, it was the first birthday party we held outside of our home! Mattie was intrigued by nature and dinosaurs, so selecting a local nature center as a venue made sense. A park ranger gave the children a walk through the woods and then they got to do a mini-excavation looking for plastic dinosaurs in a big sandbox. It was fun party filled with meeting many local animals like turtles and Mattie's favorite... snakes. Mattie may be gone 15 years now, but I will never forget the feeling of looking into his big beautiful brown eyes.  

Quote of the day: I had no idea a living being could sustain so much injury and go on living. ~ Yann Martel

I have to admit, today I felt LOST. It was a full day, as usual with tasks, chores, physical therapy for my dad, and then I took my parents out for a late lunch at our local diner. We haven't been to this diner for ten days. Jason (our favorite server there) had missed us. He was telling us that he was actually feeling down. However, after chatting with us, by the end of the meal, he was smiling, and he said that we changed his outlook about the week! What Jason reminded me once again, is that our human interactions and connections can either make us miserable or transform each other's lives in amazing ways. No matter how out of it I am, my goal is never to take out my issues on someone else! So I am happy Jason felt heard and we connected. 

In fact, when I got to the diner, I was in a low place myself. Literally there are some days that are so overwhelming, that if I think about the big picture.... the future, the thought of suicide looks appealing. However, when I have these vulnerable moments, what always guides my next move is knowing that my parents rely on me. 

While sitting and eating, the song, "Until I found you" came on. I have loved this song since I heard it two years ago! I know the melody, but today I actually listened to the words. It is a tender love song exploring the emotional journey of rediscovering love after heartbreak, with the lyrics reflecting on a guarded heart finding solace and happiness in a meaningful connection. 

As I sat absorbing the music and the lyrics, for a brief moment I felt okay. As if I wasn't going to jump out of my skin. Of course that feeling never lasts long, but in that brief moment, I was transported into the music. I focused on the song and not my own issues. 

Stephen Sanchez' Until I Found You.........................

When I got home, it was a beautiful weather day. So I got out my exterior paint and started touching up the deck. When the deck was power washed and stained, the stain got on a lot of the white wooden columns of the porch. So Indie and I went outside and for two hours I painted and she watched for birds. She was the best companion today, she stayed with me the whole time, and did not try to leave the deck (which typically happens when I am outside with her). Of course when I am outside, what I immediately remember is Sunny! Sunny loved our yard, he loved the porch, and I will never forget how he reacted the first time we walked him through the house. He was like a kid in a candy store! These memories remain with me forever and always.