Tonight's picture was taken in July of 2005. Mattie was three years old! That week, we went on vacation to the Outer Banks. On our way to the Island, we always stopped at Morris Farms. I loved all the fresh fruits and vegetables and of course Farmer Brown went right for the tractor!
Quote of the day: There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you. ~ Maya Angelou
We spent over 5 hours at the hospital today. Every time I enter my dad's room, I get upset! I am upset because of the mess and disarray all over the room. Alcohol wipe packets on the floor, debris of all kinds, linens strewn all over the place, my dad's dirty laundry in piles, the bed a mess, and my dad's wheelchair pad was covered in urine. Once I settled my mom, I began cleaning! This is my daily routine. I straighten everything, make his bed, pick up dirty linens, and cavi wipe all surfaces. By the time I am finished, you can smell that the room is clean. I am naturally a type A person, but in a hospital setting, it is crucial to manage germs!
Today my dad was convinced we were on a cruise! He kept asking.... what is our next activity! It takes a lot to orient him to time, place, and person. It is not just a one time task, but something I do constantly throughout the time I am visiting him. Each night, my dad doesn't want to get back into bed. Why? Because he is ready to come home! I have to remind him why he is in the hospital, because he doesn't remember his fall, he doesn't remember the six paramedics in our home carrying him down the stairs, and he doesn't remember running a fever and having a terrible cough and congestion!
My dad's nursing assistant told me tonight that I am ready to get a job at the hospital, because he has observed the various things I can do! I told him that I am not trained formally to do this, but learned by experience. Before I left the hospital tonight, I washed and cut my dad's hair, shaved him, and brushed his teeth.
Liver Donor Marries the Woman Whose Life He Saved: 'It Was the Best Decision I Ever Made'
As I face tomorrow, July 23, the 17th anniversary of Mattie's diagnosis, I can't help but reflect on how our lives dramatically changed that day. In fact, the hospital where my dad is receiving care is the SAME hospital where Mattie was diagnosed. Childhood cancer taught me that life can change in a second/minute, and so much about our life is out of our control. July 23 is a day I will never forget and now I share this memory and heartache alone.
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