Tonight's picture was taken on August 5, 2009. How do I know? Because it is a day I will NEVER forget. On that day, I learned that Mattie's cancer metastasized throughout his body and that he was going to die. Mind you Mattie's doctor did not believe that was as sick as I was reporting. I get it, as Mattie completed chemotherapy only six weeks earlier! However, Mattie wasn't eating, drinking, and was complaining of pain. I was told that Mattie was manipulating me and was developing an eating disorder and an addiction to pain medication! Maybe so if he was an adult but NOT a seven year old! I wasn't buying it! I finally demanded that Mattie get scanned. That day, my worst fears were confirmed. During difficult moments, Mattie and I headed outside to the hospital rose garden. Near the garden was this beautiful elephant sculpture with pretty tiles all over it. In fact, one of Mattie's nurses created a Curious George (named after Mattie's curious left leg -- the only leg not operated on) tile in his honor. We snapped a photo of Mattie by the elephant and then went to the rose garden. It was in that garden that Mattie crawled out of his wheelchair and wanted to sit in my lap and hear the story about the day he was born. It was a story Mattie never got tired of hearing and I never got tired retelling it!
Quote of the day: But pain's like water. It finds a way to push through any seal. There's no way to stop it. Sometimes you have to let yourself sink inside of it before you can learn how to swim to the surface. ~ Katie Kacvinsky
Today I reached an all new low. It is almost 10pm, and I have finally stopped moving for today. In fact, while typing, I was practically moved to tears. Remember I am not a crier. I feel that overwhelmed, disgusted, and upset.
This morning, Cody came over at 10am. Cody is my plumber. He came to assess the upstairs bathroom that leaked into my dining room. Cody confirmed my fears. There is NOTHING wrong with the plumbing, the issue was my mom has flooded the bathroom while showering. I have told her about my concern before because when I check her bathroom daily, many times I have found water all over her bathroom rug, but never a flood on the floor leading to water pouring into my dining room.
Cody said it was imperative that I get a water expert into the house to assess the problem. He connected me with a company he works extensively with and in less than an hour, I was talking to that company and had an appointment with them this afternoon. Meanwhile, there were many other issues in the house that Cody had to help me with, as we are going through everything to prevent any other floods or leaks. He was literally with me from 10am to 4pm. Get the picture on the amount of work he did today?
Despite the pressure I felt over plumbing issues, my mom likes going out at noon or 1pm each day, so I had to juggle her needs. I told Cody, he understood, and I left him in my house for hours alone. That is how much I trust Cody! Cody is beyond disgusted with my husband. He can't get over that someone would leave me, much less leave me managing the impossible (a home, caregiving, and everything it entails). Cody says there is NO excuse for this whatsoever.
While out with my mom, I did not sit still long, because my car was also being serviced, so I was answering those questions, paying for it, and then the company which mediates water damage called me back and said that a project manager was coming to my house in ten minutes. I literally left my mom at Starbuck's and ran home. So let's do the math, this afternoon, I was single handedly juggling the car service, the plumber, and water remediation.
When I met with Oscar, the project manager, he used his gizmo which reads water moisture in walls and floors. Turns out I have 99% water in the bathroom floor, bathroom wall, and dining room ceiling. What does that mean? It means that all of this needs to be ripped up, professionally cleaned and then big fans need to be set up to dry each of these locations. It is extensive and then I need to hire a contractor to dry wall, tile, and repaint. Oscar believes that my home owners insurance policy will cover this, but I did not have time today to open a claim because after picking up my dad at his memory care center, I had a Foundation board meeting. After that 90 minute meeting, I had to cook and serve dinner, and then help my mom move all her things from the damaged bathroom, to the bathroom in my husband's office. As an aside, I still refer to the office and bathroom as my husband's. I never removed his towels! Why on earth not? I think a part of me still can't accept that he left! Cody had me laughing today, when I told him that my mom was moving into my husband's bathroom, his immediate response was........... OH NO! YOU HAVE TO FIND ANOTHER NAME FOR THAT SPACE! ANYTHING ELSE WILL DO!
I am on overload and as my mother in law said to me today, I agree with..... what I face each day is cruel and unfair. I couldn't have said it better. I feel like I have reached an all new low tonight, as days aren't getting better, just worse.
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