Wednesday, September 3, 2025

Wednesday, September 3, 2025

Tonight's picture was taken in August of 2006. Mattie was four years old. That week, my parents and me took Mattie to San Diego. Mattie loved those adventures. We decided to visit the USS Midway, a retired aircraft carrier, that is now a museum. Since Mattie was fascinated by ships, planes, trains, and cars, I knew this would be right up his alley! Literally we toured many of the levels of the aircraft carrier and it gave us incredible respect for people who serve our country in this incredible manner. 

Quote of the day: Hard times don’t create heroes. It is during the hard times when the ‘hero’ within us is revealed. ~ Bob Riley

This morning in my inbox was this "on this day" memory. The beauty or frankly the scary part of computers, is they can recap your life for you. Apparently these were some highlights of my September 3rds throughout the years. 

So what are you seeing? Starting on the top left, this was where we used to live in the city. We had a townhouse in a complex with about 900 units. YES a big complex. Our building in this complex, to me, was the nicest, as it had this enclosed outdoor space. In this space Mattie learned to walk, run, bicycle ride, fly a kite, and of course drive Speedy Red. The reason why I snapped a photo of this greenery, was because we planted many of these trees in this common area. Many of them were given to us by neighbors.... because the trees were dying! However, as you can see the trees were brought back to life and were thriving in this space. Once Mattie died, all sorts of things were planted in this space such as tulips, daffodils, and crocuses. In a way it was a tribute to Mattie's memory and the love he had for this outdoor space. 

The photo of the top right is of a Dairy Queen Blizzard that I ordered in 2021. I remember this day well. It was a very busy day at our new house, with all sorts of renovations going on. On tough days, nothing perked up my mood like a Blizzard. I was first introduced to this amazing treat when we went to the beaches of North Carolina. Literally just seeing a photo of a Blizzard takes me back in time, to a better point in my life. 

The bottom left photo is my wedding bouquet. After I got married, my mom had my bouquet sealed into this dome like frame. It hung in our home for years. Then when I moved in 2023, I photographed it and said goodbye to it because the flowers literally had fallen apart. Prior to Mattie getting cancer and dying, I would say that I was very attached to things. I associated things with people, places, and memories. Certainly a part of me still feels this way, but when Mattie died, I slowly began to accept that whether Mattie's things were with me or not with me, that changed nothing! Mattie was and will always be a part of me. Things are things, memories are forever. 

The lower middle photo was of course Mattie. Mattie loved these collapsible tunnels. That day, he was walking around with the tunnel all around him, and even climbed up the stairs. Which was when I snapped that photo! 

The lower right photo, well that was our SPECIAL OAK TREE, outside our townhouse window. What made it special? It was special because it provided the leaves that Mattie's caterpillars ate every spring, before transforming into moths. Literally it was the only oak tree near us and those tent moth caterpillars ate ONLY oak! In addition, that oak tree introduced Mattie to acorns, something that he LOVED to collect! Where would we have been without that mighty oak?

So today's "on this day" was actually filled with many wonderful and at the same time bittersweet memories. As so many of my memories are now.

While in my car today, I was looking for a phone charger for my mom. I literally tore through my little storage area in the front seat looking for it. Never found it, but while cleaning out that compartment, I found a whole bunch of Mattie trinkets in my bin. Seriously I don't even remember putting them in the car. The two I want to highlight is the gold stone (top right). Mattie got that stone from his preschool. Mattie had a teacher who celebrated St. Patrick's Day with the children by putting out gold stones for them to find and collect, you know.... a pot of gold hidden where the end of any rainbow touches the earth. Mattie took finding this gold very seriously and saved every piece in his room. This piece of "gold" remains in my car even today! Mattie's preschool days were probably the happiest in my life. The other item is a little blue surf board! I almost forgot about this.... Mattie had two toy cars, each with a surf board attached to the top of it, in a tribute to his trips to Southern California. I can't tell you how much joy Mattie got from playing with those cars, and low and behold there was the surf board today. Something I hadn't seen in years! As the 16th anniversary of Mattie's death is fast approaching, I view these special finds today as messages/signs to me from Mattie.