Tonight's picture was taken in October of 2008. As you maybe able to see, Mattie's right arm was casted and in a sling (from his limb salvaging surgery). Despite having limited mobility, Mattie found creative ways to play and move his body. That day Mattie's physical therapist brought in water guns and all sorts of toys. Mattie absolutely loved it and his poor therapist got drenched with water. You may also see a McDonald's shake on Mattie's table. Mattie went through various food phases while enduring cancer treatment. That moment in time, he was all about the vanilla shake!
Quote of the day: No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear. ~ C.S. Lewis
I have no idea what happened to today. My goal was to bake cookies for three of the wonderful women who serve us Sunday brunch and then take my parents out mid-day for ice cream. I have decided that I can't handle our usual Saturday routine of going to the diner. The diner has been a royal disappointment three weeks in a row. So now I am waiting for another local restaurant to open up in November, which will replace our Saturday diner trips. While I was assembling and baking cookies, I could see my mom was sleeping at the breakfast table. So I moved her to the couch.
After I baked the cookies and was going to let them cool before frosting them, I tried to wake my mom up so that we could all go out. To my surprise, she did not want to get off the couch and go out. That is VERY UNUSUAL for my mom. So I have to keep an eye on her to figure out what is going on. I believe that part of this is psychological, as we learned a close friend of mine is relocating from our region in 2027. This is a massive blow to me, given that I am now divorced. But I think this news hit my mom hard as well, because on some level she is worried about my future. All the worrying and anxiety over this issue has wiped her out this week. As for me, it is a sad commentary, but the way I feel is that at some point, each and every person I know will abandon me. That may not sound rational, but to lose a child and a husband, for me is a devastating combination and it influences my perspective.
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