Tonight's picture was taken in March of 2005. Mattie was almost three years old and was FULLY on! This was what a typical scene in our home looked like. Mattie was all about building and creating and loved his trains. Of course no scene was ever complete without his sippy cup of milk. I always joked that Mattie was going to have the healthiest bones around because of all the milk he consumed. I would never have guessed that at age six he would have been diagnosed with bone cancer.
Quote of the day: It isn't what you have or who you are or where you are or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about it. ~ Dale Carnegie
Last night, I decided to take on a project to try to disassemble a desk that is getting moved out of the house on Friday. What a BIG mistake. I worked so hard on it, that I literally thought I was going to pass out. I felt light headed and nauseous. Mind you I had a migraine all day, which felt like a screw driver was going through my eye. I was so debilitated that I did not think I had the energy or ability to take my dad upstairs to bed. When the clock hits 10pm, my dad wants to go upstairs. With Alzheimer's my dad no longer has the capability to understand other people's issues or needs. Since it wasn't safe for me to take him upstairs right away, I ran to get my migraine anti-nausea meds and went to sit outside to get fresh air. I spent about 15 minutes trying to stabilize enough so I could take my dad upstairs.
However, even when I went to sleep, it wasn't peaceful. At 5am today, I was jolted awake with the notion that I had to pack MORE for Friday's move out. When I am jolted awake, my head and heart start pounding. Despite the fact that more has to be packed, I just wasn't able to get to it today. I was juggling one thing after the other. But what last night has told me, is that I need to be careful. I am on the verge of a complete physical and emotional breakdown.
At around 4pm today, I literally sat on my bed and fell asleep for 45 minutes. That is how tired I am, because I never nap. But there was no way I could function without rest. When I got up, I scrambled to put together a fundraising application and to do some other work. Tonight's blog is short, in hopes that tomorrow is a better day.
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