Tonight's picture was taken in March of 2009. Mattie was in the outpatient clinic working on a pottery wheel. To my knowledge this was the first time Mattie used this wheel! He took to it like a duck to water. What I did not realize, was he was in the process of creating a vase for me, for Mother's Day. Mattie worked on this piece over several weeks and truthfully I wasn't putting two and two together, until I was surprised with the vase! Mattie glazed it a lovely red color (our favorite color) and to this day, this vase sits in my living room!
Quote of the day: It is good to love many things, for therein lies the true strength, and whosoever loves much performs much, and can accomplish much, and what is done in love is well done. ~ Vincent Van Gogh
Now a week later, and my mom is still struggling with a cough and exhaustion. Given her age and lung conditions, recovery for her takes longer. I had a telehealth visit today with my urology office. You may recall that about a month ago, I forgot I had an appointment and I literally blew it off. I rescheduled it for today and I apologized to my doctor's nurse. She was very understanding about it and told me not to worry or give it a second thought! A kind soul. Any case, my appointment was at 2pm today. I explained to my mom that I couldn't take her out until after that call was over. Sometimes things register with her, other times no.
Once I got off the phone, my mom was in a state. She complained that she was thirsty and hungry. Mind you, she had breakfast (at noon!). So I would have hoped she could have entertained herself for a few minutes, while I was on the call. Nonetheless, my life is jumping from one task to the next and truthfully my day is about meeting my parent's schedule and needs. Most days, I can deal with it, but this is a particularly hard week. Seeing things packed up in my home is not easy. No matter how much time goes by, my mind and heart can't process as fast as my body. My body is moving around, doing tasks, packing and organizing. But while I am doing these tasks, I literally blot out the feelings and emotions associated with packing up things from my marriage. Things that were once ours, are no longer.
I have one chance to pack things up and therefore I have to be as thorough and thoughtful about how I am doing this, which means going through every room and every drawer. When I think I am done, I remember other things. As of tonight, I think I have packed and gathered as much as I physically can.
It is very difficult after 35 years to be the one left behind. To be the one that is apparently easy to leave. I truthfully never thought I would be facing this ever in my life, and all I can say is................ there goes my life. Literally this week, while packing, I had Kenny Chesney's song floating through my mind. The context of the song is different than what I am experiencing, but the sentiments and emotions are 100% the same! If you have never heard the song, here it is......
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