Tonight's picture was taken on Halloween of 2008. This was our last Halloween with Mattie. I will never forget this day. Earlier in that day, Mattie went to the hospital and participated in their Halloween activities and hallway trick or treating. In the evening, we went over to Zachary's home (Mattie's best preschool friend) to trick or treat. When I tell you that I learned a lot from these two boys, I am not kidding. Keep in mind they were six years old. Mattie already had his first limb salvaging surgery and was moving around gingerly. Which was why he chose a mummy costume, to hide his right arm. Any case, that evening, the boys went trick or treating with several of Zachary's neighbors. The other kids were getting annoyed with Mattie, because he was moving slowly and preventing them from visiting more houses to collect candy. In no uncertain terms, the other kids encouraged Zachary to ditch Mattie! I understood the kids' perspective, but I of course, empathized with how Mattie was feeling. With the pressure the kids were putting on Zachary, it would have made sense if he left Mattie behind and went along with the others. But that is NOT what happened! Instead, Zachary stayed with Mattie and he told the other kids to move along without him. This whole evening will be permanently etched in my mind. After collecting candy, we went back to Zachary's house and the kids examined and sorted their candy! Since Mattie wasn't into chocolate or most candy, Mattie shared a great deal of it with Zachary and Zachary gave Mattie all the lollipops and salted (crackers, popcorn, etc) treats (things Mattie liked). They were quite a pair!
Quote of the day: There is a vastness to grief that overwhelms our minuscule selves. We are tiny, trembling clusters of atoms subsumed within grief’s awesome presence. It occupies the core of our being and extends through our fingers to the limits of the universe. ~ Nick Cave
I got up very early this morning because I had Paul, my heating and cooling specialist, coming over to do his annual check on my furnaces. All I know is these check ups are never easy. I registered that Paul was in the basement for 90 minutes today! NOT A GOOD SIGN, because I know I have one older furnace left in the house that will eventually need to be replaced. Given that I just paid off last year's furnace replacement, I really did not want to take on another one this year! Thankfully Paul kept at it and there was a connection issue, which had nothing to do with the health of the furnace! The first Friday blessing, I don't need a new furnace yet.
While Paul was here, my former student and now friend, Ariel, came to visit with her 17 month old, Sawyer. The last time I saw Ariel, she was pregnant! Put this into context, Ariel was an undergraduate student of mine, and the course she took with me was child development. Ironic, no? I honestly couldn't remember what year I taught Ariel, and she reminded me that it was in 2006. Twenty years? How is this possible? I literally was a kid myself back then. Does this make me feel old, or older? The answer is NO! Want to know why? Because in many ways, I stopped counting my years after Mattie died. My life is frozen back in 2009!
The one thing I did feel from today was energy! There is nothing like being around a young child. Children are innocent, love exploring the world around them, and they are not tarnished by life. Sawyer brought life into our house today and both my mom and I felt the same way.
Sawyer loved my dining room door and he got sheer joy opening and closing it, and we all got a great deal of happiness playing along with him.
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