Friday, September 7, 2018

Friday, September 7, 2018


Tonight's picture was taken in September of 2007. It was Mattie's first day of kindergarten. I am not sure who was more nervous, him or me. Mattie truly did not want to take this photo, but I insisted! I always wanted to do a photo collage featuring Mattie's first days of school! Unfortunately we never made it passed kindergarten. Which is why this photo seems even more important to have captured. 







Quote of the day: by David Wright

If when I am gone thou would’st
honor me then plant a tree.
Some highway, bleak and bare,
Make green with Leaves.
So radiant and fair
And full of leaves my monument
will be, so ever full of
tuneful melody.
My monument will be a sight
most rare --
Trees planted everywhere.
A highway broad from city
to the sea --
Plant this in memory of me. 


When I tell you it was a farce today, I am not kidding. My day did not go according to plan at all. I am in the process of juggling the plans for several events. Some of which are for Mattie Miracle and some which are personal. Either case, it has been non stop with caterers, restaurants, and ideas for fundraisers. 

In the midst of this nightmare, I get a text message from Mattie's school to call their arborist. I have been emailing the school for a while now trying to impress upon them the need for a replacement memorial tree for Mattie. If you have been following the tree saga, then you know that we are on memorial tree #4 now!!!

The arborist (Tim) is a love and he really wants a tree on the campus that Mattie would have liked, not a tree the school wanted to add to its collection. By the way, the arborist donates the tree!!! It turns out Tim is going to drive 60 minutes back and forth tomorrow to a special nursery to hand pick a Sawtooth Oak for Mattie's memorial. In fact, he was calling today to set up a time for us to meet tomorrow to plant the tree together. 

In fact, Tim feels that Mattie has willed the other trees to die. He says Mattie's favorite tree was an oak, and he won't be happy until an oak is planted. Funny how Tim seems to understand Mattie, and yet he never met him. Tim has encouraged me to invite close friends and family to this event tomorrow!

Tomorrow marks the 9th anniversary of Mattie's death. Typically on these milestone days, I retreat and do not subject myself to any kind of group. I tried this group gathering the first year Mattie's died and it was an utter disaster. People came to Mattie's tree but then quickly left because their children had many activities to get to. It is a feeling I will never forget. In fact, I still can feel it today. I vowed never again to do this. Yet Tim encouraged me to get a group together, to send positive vibes to Mattie's new tree. 

So I literally text messaged some friends today and even with last minute notice, they are finding a way to be at the tree tomorrow. I have to remember that this is the gift. The gift of community which Mattie created for us back in 2008. I live with conflicts all the time. On one hand I appreciate this devoted support and on the other hand, I can get angry because at the end of the day, in my cohort, I am the only one who is deeply affected by this kind a loss. 

This was tree number 1! Planted in May of 2010. It was an oak. I selected an oak, because Mattie LOVED to collect acorns and give them out as gifts. 

After the oak died, the school encouraged us to plant a yellow wood tree in 2013. 

Unfortunately that tree died, so we planted a third tree in 2014. Also a Yellow Wood. 

In the spring, there was a huge wind storm and with it, trees came down. Down and split Mattie's Yellow wood tree. 

They tell me the tree is coming back to life, but again, I don't want a half cracked tree representing Mattie. Do keep in mind that NONE of Mattie's half dead yellow wood trees have ever been removed. So literally Mattie has a grove of trees dedicated to him around the playground. 

Tim is going to hand pick a Sawtooth Oak tree tomorrow. The Sawtooth has a spiky leaf, and looks different from your typical oak. 

The Sawtooth has one important feature... acorns! Acorns with frilly hats. Mattie would have gotten a kick out of this. So send good thoughts for Tree #4!