Tonight's picture was taken in September of 2008. Mattie was home between treatments and his best preschool buddy, Zachary, came over. Zachary brought over Indiana Jones hats and a whip. The irony was Mattie never saw one of Harrison Ford's movies, yet because Zachary loved the series, Mattie did too! They were an amazing duo, and I learned a great deal about friendship from these two young boys!
Quote of the day: We write to taste life twice, in the moment and in retrospect. ~ Anais Nin
At some point today, after juggling my usual responsibilities, I sat down at my computer and worked on composing a letter for my mom. One of my mom's teacher colleagues and friend is celebrating his upcoming 80th birthday. His wife has asked my mom to write down her memories and reflections of their time together. Seems like a simple request, no? The answer is NO, NO, and NO! Why do I say this?
I say this because my mom has her own form of dementia. Certainly she functions a lot better than my dad, but what this exercise confirmed for me is that her ability to recall stories, moments in time, and feelings associated with those memories, are practically gone. So how on earth can she generate a letter, with no content?
Given that I felt pressure to submit something and my mom also wanted to participate, I had to strategize how I was going to do this? When we were living in New York, I was a child. Therefore I wouldn't be privy to their friendship and work together. I only knew snippets of things. So yesterday, I took out a pad of paper and sat down with my mom. I asked her to come up with ideas and thoughts and to just shout them out. I wrote down everything yesterday that she was expressing and then I tried to make sense of it. Today I turned it into a three page letter. I decided to generate a TOP TEN list of special qualities and under each item in the list, I elaborated with examples and commentary.
The conclusion I came to, is I can write about anything at this point. I attribute my comfort with writing to Mattie's blog. When you write daily, about thoughts, feelings, and reflections, it is like exercising a muscle. My brain has gotten very good at flexing, bending, and being used to express all sorts of difficult, meaningful, and at times painful life experiences. As I always say, Mattie was my life's greatest teacher and it is funny how even writing a letter can illustrate this point.
Here is an example from my top ten list. It is number 6:
#6.....Love of Children
One day, I brought my daughter, Vicki, to DeWitt Clinton High School. She had to be around 5 years old. You happened to be walking down the hallway and saw us. You came over to us, took Vicki’s hand, and together you walked the hallway and got to know one another. You always credit that special walk for your desire to have a child of your own. Naturally as Vicki’s mom, hearing that made me smile, then and even now. Your love for children and their development has guided all aspects of your life from teaching, your family, and running a successful teen tour company.
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