Sunday, September 13, 2026

Sunday, September 13, 2026

Tonight's picture was taken in September of 2002. Mattie was five months old and loving rice cereal. You can see the joy in his eyes! Both eating and looking at me, looking at him. Mattie did not like his high chair, so instead, I used his trusty car seat. I do not know where I would have been without that car seat. As it served as a high chair and a place Mattie found cozy to sleep at night. I literally would strap him into the car seat and then place the car seat in his crib. I found that being Mattie's mom inspired me to think outside the box! 

Quote of the day: Do not look for healing at the feet of those who broke you. ~ Rupi Kaur

Look at this beautiful sunflower gift I received in the mail! These are three real sunflowers that have been sealed inside this glass block. The block also lights up. I can't think of a better gift in honor of Mattie's 17th anniversary of his death. Once I became a mom, my perspective changed, and I always thought of life in terms of three... me, my other half, and our beautiful boy. So three is a magic number for me, as it symbolizes the way my family used to be, and in a way, the family that always remains alive in my heart. These sunflowers will light my nights on the darker fall and winter days that are fast approaching. 

The giver of this meaningful gift is my dear friend Cheryl. I have never met Cheryl, but she was related to me through my marriage. So in all reality, she is my cousin Cheryl. She has been a beacon of light for me during my entire separation and divorce. I don't say this lightly as there were very dark emotional times for me, and the notion of jumping out the window sounded like a great idea. But Cheryl would text me thoughts, feelings, and compassion and her words would be absorbed and I would find a way to the next day, and then the next day after that. She has been an emotional lifesaver and the sunflowers are so symbolic of Team Mattie and that incredible love, support, and strength that rallied around my Mattie and me during his cancer journey. 

I took my parents out for lunch today, just like I do every Sunday. While driving to the restaurant, my dad had an irritable bowel syndrome accident. This is nothing new, as this happens every Sunday like clock work. Which means once I get to the restaurant, I have to lay by and take my parents inside, and immediately take my dad to the bathroom and change him. Then I go back out and park the car. I am not doing the experience justice, as it is extremely stressful juggling this alone. While at lunch, out came the game, Qwirkle. Playing the game is the only thing that keeps my parents focused, otherwise, my dad is in a fog and my mom is glued to her phone. I have noticed now three weeks in a row, that when we go out to eat, my mom gets in a funk. She seems unable to eat, she reports having an upset stomach, and truly I do not know who to worry about first at the table. 

Given that we have been going to this restaurant since 2021, we know a good chunk of the servers and managers. So it is not unusual for people to come up to us and start chatting, not unlike today at least four people stopped by and we caught up with each other. In the process, I introduced Qwirkle to each of them and our server loved it so much that she was playing along too.